There's no prayer like desire.
Time is just memory mixed in with Desire.
The earth is not my home, I'm just passing by
There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk.
I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.
The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
Well, it's either kiss me or kill me, that's how I see it.
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.
I don't have a drinking problem 'cept when I can't get a drink.
Well you say that it's gospel, | But I know that it's only church.
Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own...
It's like glueing macaroni to a piece of cardboard and painting it gold
My life is like an air-traffic controller's: moments of boredom broken up by moments of sheer terror.
I used to want to be an old man when I was a kid. Now I'm an old man and my kids are growing, I think I want to be a kid.
I learned how to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself so the fire would burn over me. Never had to use it since, but I'm ready.
Never have your wallet with you onstage. It's bad luck. You shouldn't play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.
There is no such thing as truth. People who really know what happened aren't talking. And the people who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up.
We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.