Quotes by Anonymous

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Freedom is not free.
I am the captain of my soul.
Only sheep need a shepherd
Happiness is a state of mind.
HORSE SENSE: Stable thinking
Good example is half a sermon.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Lord save me from your followers
Play the music, not the instrument.
In strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Silence is the best response to a fool.
The masses are the opium of religion.
CHEF: Any cook who swears in French.
Grant me patience, O Lord, but hurry!
God helps those who help themselves.
CAT: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
To teach is to learn. -- Japanese Proverb
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast!
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.
Bigamy: Marrying a pretty girl and a good cook !
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Keep your words sweet-you may have to eat them.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it works!
Life is a state of mind. (From the film "Being There")
The big thieves hang the little ones. -- Czech proverb
If you want to stay single...look for the perfect mate !
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
Women are meant to be loved....not to be understood.
Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't.
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
TACT: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say.
The goal of marriage is not to think alike but to think together.
What a man says drunk he has thought sober. -- Flemish proverb
PHILANTHROPIST: One who gives away what he should give back.
My words will either attract a strong mind or offend a weak one.
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. 
Love me when I least deserve it, because it's when I need it most.
You are just an insecure little girl in desperate need of attention.
FAIRY TALE: a horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
Age does not determine who's right, it only determines who's left!
Before solving a problem, make sure you've got the right problem.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
When I'm right no one remembers, when I'm wrong no one forgets.
CHEMICALS: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
Everyone needs to be loved, especially when they do not deserve it.
A beautiful woman is a paradise to the eyes and a curse to the purse.
The best thing parents can do for their children is to love each other.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's....she changes it more often !!
Time is nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once.
Integrity - When you do the right thing even though no one is watching.
There is nothing so pathetic as a bore who claims attention - and gets it
We will be the last generation to have witnessed life without the Internet.
I am what I am because of who we all are. (Principle of Ubuntu philosophy)
EXECUTIVE: A man who talks to the visitors while others are doing the work.
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife isn't saying.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.
She says: "I don't ask much. Just treat me like a lady and fuck me like a whore".
A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist.
Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.
The earth is my body, my head is in the stars. (From the film "Harold and Maude")
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.
For every complicated problem there is a simple, easy to understand, wrong answer.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Education Is what remains after you have forgotten everything you learned in school.
My wife and I have an agreement. I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.
VACATION: Time off to remind employees that the business can get along without them.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves... for they will never cease to be amused.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Never argue with idiots... They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Advertising - the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop your tears, is the one that's causing them?
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Confidence is believing you are of value. Arrogance is believing you are more valuable than others.
She was so ugly when she was born, her Momma used to borrow a baby to take to church on Sunday.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about other people.
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
A theologian is like a blind man in a dark room searching for a black cat which isn't there - and finding it! 
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
SPOUSE: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages.
A woman always has the last word in an argument. Anything a man says after it is the beginning of a new argument.
If you have to deal with a bad person, the first thing you have to do is not to improve him, but to improve yourself.
When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing.
You've got to have a map: to know where you came from, where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there.
PROFESSOR: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.
Trump can run for president with no political experience but I need a masters and 5 years experience for an entry level job.
STATISTICIAN: Someone who can put his head in the oven and his feet in the freezer and tell you, "on average, I feel just fine."
Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss is all organized by the Italians.
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
108 quotes     Show as list