Quotes by George Carlin

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The status quo sucks.
 
Religion is just mind control.
 
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
 
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
 
La religione è solo controllo della mente.
 
Dentro ogni cinico, vi è un idealista deluso.
 
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
 
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
 
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
 
È stata uccisa più gente nel nome di Dio che per qualsiasi altro motivo.
 
Gli infanti gioiscono dell'infanzia così come gli adulti dell'adulterio?
 
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
 
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
 
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
 
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
 
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
 
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
 
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
 
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
 
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
 
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